Not that it matters, but that is the same beach-house that was in The Last Dark Step.  I remember it from 18 months ago because it was kind of sad.  It looks like a great old California getaway, right on the water.  The sad part is that it was probably plowed under decades ago to make way for some ugly $MM condominiums.

Steven is pounding away on a typewriter when a soaking wet floozy wanders in the front door — a beach-house feature second only to the beach.  Unfortunately, the wet, liquored-up blonde — I haven’t gotten to the unfortunate part yet — is there with Jimmy Dolan.  He has promised to help her career.  Honesty, I hope her character is a better actress than the actress playing that character.

After summarily throwing the girl out of the house, Jimmy starts talking about another actress, Betsy Blake, who was killed in a speedboat accident.  Her death had sunk a $6M production at Goliath Studios.  The studio execs are too dumb to move the release date up to capitalize on the tragedy.  Since her body was discovered this morning, the story is over.  Jimmy is worried that by the time the film comes out, everyone will have forgotten Betsy.

Jimmy wants Betsy to have the biggest funeral ever, bigger than Rudolf Valentino; but doomed to be dwarfed in 3 years.  He thinks that will make him a big man in Hollywood.  His plan is to then start a rumor that Betsy Blake is still alive.  Plan B is to concoct a back-story for her — the real Betsy Blake that no one ever knew.  That’s why he needs a writer to help him.  Steven refuses to lower himself to such a spectacle; until Jimmy offers him $300.

Weeks later, Alfredo is about to leave the beach-house.  Wait, who?  He mentions tools, so he might be a plumber.  Steve’s pipes were mentioned earlier, but that might have been a metaphor; plus, months have elapsed.  He seems to know about the Blake scheme as if Steve had confided in him.  And when Jimmy enters, he calls Alfredo by name.  Alfredo glares at him.  Alfredo is just kind of a strange, superfluous character who does not need to be there.  Kind of like that floozy, but at least she was blonde; and wet.

Jimmy is just giddy at his success in promoting the dead woman as a star.  Steve has been writing articles like Love Secrets from Beyond the Grave and I was Betsy Blake’s Astrologist.  Jimmy says, “The best thing that washed-out, platinum-rinsed old pelican ever did in her life was to ram her speedboat into that jerk from Pasadena.”   Then Jimmy is shocked when Betsy walks in and says, “the next phase should be The Return of Betsy Blake!”

Betsy (aka the titular Madame Mystery) is a strange piece of work.  She has a great natural sexiness, but this is mitigated by her personality.  She shouts her lines as if she were drunk, but she does not otherwise appear to have been drinking.  True, she makes a beeline for Steve’s liquor cabinet, but there is no weaving or slurring of words.  Almost immediately, she is full-on drunk, though.

Turns out, there was a blonde on the boat she hit that had a similar build and blood alcohol level.  When the police fished her body out of the water, they just assumed it was Betsy Blake.  So Betsy took this opportunity to escape from her horrible, horrible life as a movie star.  Just as well.  She had sworn to leave the country if Nixon became president anyway.

There is no mention of the other girl’s family.  Since no other body was found, her parents must be worried sick about their vanished daughter.  Do they even know she was out on a boat?  Was there an air-pocket in the sunken boat where she waited desperately to be rescued?  Did some privileged a**hole leave her to die?  Maybe it’s appropriate that Jimmy planned a Kennedyesqe funeral for Betsy.  And let’s not forget that Betsy is pretty chipper, and the two dudes are pretty forgiving considering she killed two people.

Jimmy and Betsy argue and insult each other.  He is upset that her reappearance will ruin his good fortune.  She berates him for being successful only by exploiting her.  There is a twist that might have been shocking in 1960, but mostly it left me thinking it was a total non-sequitur.

Far be it from me to criticize such a great show, but this one did not quite live up to its potential.  Audrey Totter could have been great as Betsy had she dialed her performance down to 10.  I know she had to be obnoxious to have the conflict with Jimmy, but she is frequently just too grating.  Harp McGuire was a stiff as Steven.  Only Joby Baker as Jimmy seemed well-cast.  He has the perfect face for the era.  It is hard to imagine him 10 years before or after with his mug.  And that twist — nice, just too out-of-nowhere, man.

Other Stuff:

• AHP Deathwatch:  Jimmy is still with us.  Sadly, Steve died six years later at only 44.  Even more sadder, Lois, the floozy in the first scene, died at 36.
• Audrey Totter was last seen in Spider, Inc.
• As always, more info on the production and source material can be found at bare*bonez ezine.