Fear Itself – Spooked (06/12/08)

Police Officer Harry Siegel is appropriately interrogating a low-life about a missing boy. And by “appropriately,” I mean he ties him up, pounds him in the face and threatens to cut out an eyeball if he doesn’t talk.  The scumbag gives up the boy’s location — uh, upstairs. Really, you couldn’t even search the house before going all Jack Bauer on him? The pervert plans on inflicting a little off-book punishment of his own. Just before saving the taxpayers a million bucks, he tells Siegel that he will never let him forget this night.

After the perp, Rory Bemell, croaks from natural causes (being beat to death after abducting a child), Internal Affairs hauls Siegel in and goes through a stack of suspects Siegel has worked over.  The IAD suit gets a big smile from telling Siegel to turn in his badge.

Fifteen years later, Siegel is working as a private dick staking out a philandering husband.  He gets no pleasure from playing tapes he made for the man’s distraught wife.  He does, however, get pleasure from playing another tape for the woman — one of her banging her husband’s brother, which is worth tripling his fee.

The next day, he meets with Meredith Kane.  She is another woman suspecting her husband of having an affair.  She wants Siegel to get the evidence “to make him pay.” She says there is a run-down house conveniently across the street from their home where Siegel can set up his surveillance equipment.

Neither Siegel nor Mr. Kane get lucky the first night.  Siegel does, however, pick up some strange voices from the Kane house.  The voices and a light in the window suddenly go respectively silent and dark.  The voices start up again and he determines that they are coming from inside the house he is using. He looks around and finds a pentagram drawn on the floor of the basement. He catches some kids who snuck in on a dare.  One of them tells Siegel that some kids had once been killed in this house.

Finally at 3:06 am, he hears a man and woman and sees their silhouettes in a window of the house across the street.  The woman says she was burned with cigars . . . by a cop named Siegel.  He meets with Ms. Kane again to quit the case, but she won’t let him.

The next night, through a large widow he sees two young kids in the house watching TV downstairs.  In an upstairs window, he sees a man with a knife.  Then through yet another window, he sees the man coming down the stairs with the knife raised.  Christ, this greenhouse ain’t the place to conduct a clandestine affair.  Siegel runs across the street and busts down the door only to find the house deserted, not even any furniture. Looking back across the street at the hovel he was perched in, he sees a face in window over there.  So he runs back to that house and hears a swirl of voices that talk about being stabbed, burned, beaten.

He sees a lot of other crazy shit in the house.  Finding himself locked in, he turns and sees dead Rory Bemell standing there with a knife.  He says, “I didn’t deserve this, Harry.” He tells Siegel that a girl Siegel burned was innocent and now lives in pain.  And a kid he kicked senseless turned out to be a witness.

In the house, Siegel experiences a flashback to an incident when he was a kid.  After his older brother pulls their father’s pistol out of the closet, Siegel accidentally fatally shoots him. Siegel’s father tells him that this must remain secret and they secretly bury the kid.  OK, I guess Siegel’s mother was already dead.  But what did they plan on telling the school and the neighbors?  That his brother went to live on a farm?

Blah, blah, blah, Siegel realizes Meredith Kane set him up to be killed by the haunted house.  He heads over to her real home to mete out some of the justice he was used to as a cop.  Then there is a twist that left me a little cold.  I know it is bizarre, but I think the problem is that the twist is too good for the show.  Meredith suddenly has a back story that was a complete void.  Even the haunted house has a history that is too-briefly summed up in one sentence.

This is the first episode on the disc, but the second episode to air.  It makes me suspect that this was to be the premiere, but The Sacrifice just worked better so they went with that. Not that this is a bad episode at all — the performances were good, the visuals were interesting, it just seemed that there was too much story to fit into one hour.  To be honest, it might not even be possible to tell this complete story and keep the current structure.  It was probably as good as it could have been.

Post-Post:

  • Harry Siegel changed his name to Bender after he was fired from the force.  On the wall of his detective office, he has clippings from his career.  I guess he counts on no one reading them and asking who this Harry Siegel was and why he looks identical to Harry Bender.
  • Second consecutive show where IMDb got a name wrong.  Yesterday, Joanne was credited, but she was always called Joanna.  Today, Eric Roberts’ character is credited as Siegel, but a police name tag says Siegal.
  • I’d love to say Harry Siegel’s name was a Dirty Harry homage — Harry Callahan’s first name and the last name of that film’s director Don Siegel.  But who knows?

Tales of Tomorrow – The Dark Angel (09/28/51)

ttdarkangel1Tim Hathaway is knocking back the hooch.  This show is so old, you could only get 3-year old scotch back then.  Heyoooo, I’ll be here all weekend!  I mean right here, on the couch.

The doorbell rings and he gets a visit from Det. Will Jethroe of the 24th Precinct Jethroes.  There has been a shooting and eyewitnesses described a man looking just like Hathaway.  Without the benefit of counsel, he blurts out, “The woman I shot was my wife.”  I feel a flashback coming on.

Five years earlier:  Joanne Hathaway is struggling with some buttons on the back of her blouse and calls Jim up to help.  Dr. Farleigh drops by with x-rays he took of Joanne a few days earlier when she broke a rib.  Realizing she had additional insurance, he took additional x-rays on Monday, and discovered the injury had completely healed.

After Joanne goes up to bed, Farleigh shows the x-rays to Tim.  Farleigh recalls that in her previous check-up, Joanne had a healthy heart and now it is only half the normal size.  Her appendix has vanished completely.

ttdarkangel4Tim confronts Joanne about the mysteries and she admits that she has changed.  She has also discovered that she can control objects with her mind.  As proof she makes a statue topple over and shatter — pretty racy for 1951 TV, the statue was topless.  She believes she is evolving to “a brand new kind of human being.”  Her night table now groans under the weight of thick books on physics.  Say, a woman reading science books — that is crazy!

She worries that she is outgrowing her husband and that soon her love for for him will be like the love she has for “a lower species” like their dog; or veal.

Commercial Break:  The episode is once again sponsored by Kreisler Watchbands.

The next morning, Joanne is gone.  Jim scours the papers day after day searching for her. She finally appears in the paper for discovering a new radiation process.  The picture is blurry, the name is slightly different, and the article says she was 15 years younger than Joanne.  Jim gets on a plane to California to reunite with his wife, or at least hook-up with this younger look-alike hottie.

ttdarkangel5In the Berkeley Electronic Lab, Tim begs her to come back to him.  She says she is the first of a new race, a new kind of being.  In a nifty scene, she goes through a door to get her coat.  A few seconds later, Jim checks the door and sees that it is just a broom closet and Joanne has disappeared.

She did not reappear, but over the next 4 years he would see reports of her discoveries in newspapers and scientific journals.  Finally, tonight Tim sees Joanne again in their old hang-out.  He puts his arms around her, but she says Tim means nothing to her anymore, that she is waiting for someone else. She ominously says, “Our time to rule is coming soon.”

The bartender overhears this and drops a glass.  Joanne induces a heart attack in him and feels nothing at his death.  Tim sees that she has too much power, has become “ruthless, hard, cold” and will destroy anyone who stands in her way.  Continuing that she is “a menace, a terror, Godless” he puts four slugs in her.  He then runs home and is soon-after visited by the detective.

Tim defends his actions saying that she would have made the world unfit to live in. Jethroe tells him that the bullets could not harm Joanne.  Not only that, but Jethroe is also one of the new race.  Proving that Joanne really was too smart for him, Jim stupidly pulls a gun on Jethroe.  He suffers the same fate as the bartender.

ttdarkangel6A great deal of potential was squandered in this episode.  The idea of the woman evolving was a great concept.  In fact, it was so great that they used it again in another episode in the same season. However, they could have made it the basis for apocalyptic story, an alien invasion, or an allegory for women’s post-war liberation from the kitchen. Sadly, it just became a cog in the wheel of a murder mystery.

On the plus side, Ms. Hathaway finally hooked up with Jethroe.

Post-Post:

  • Title Analysis: The title reminds me of a TV-movie called Dark Angel which aired in the previous millennium.  Not otherwise relevant here, it just always amused me that Roberts’ character was named D’Arcangelo.  On the tortured scale, that is somewhere between water-boarding and the SHIELD acronym.
  • The title was recycled 4 years later for a short-lived series starring Jessica Alba.
  • Dark Angel is used in the title of several other productions.  My favorite usage has to be as the name of an actor in Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires: The Curse of Ed Wood.

Night Visions – My So-Called Life and Death (08/23/01)

nvmysocalled01Little Brian seems to be a bit of a firebug.  When we first meet the 7-year old, he is getting quite the little campfire going in the backyard, but he ain’t camping.

His sister Julia, who calls him “The Mutation” wishes that he would actually torch the house so she wouldn’t have to stay there anymore. Their mother, who Julia refers to as “Der Fuhrer” comes out and turns a hose on the little fire (not to be a grammar-Nazi, but wouldn’t she be Die Fuhrer”?).  Mom reminds Brian that she has told him not to play with matches.  The 7-year old outsmarts her by holding up a lighter.  If the matches ain’t lit, you must acquit.  His mother laughs and gets all kissy-face at his dangerous insolence.

Julia says that lately she can’t even look at her mother without wanting to stab her repeatedly. [1]  She hates being there so much she takes out a small cassette player and says, “I hate this place.”  She likes it a little better when she sees a local slab of beefcake mowing the lawn.  Well, not lawn so much as he is mowing a wooded area whose chief vegetation seems to be dead leaves on the ground.

nvmysocalled06At lunch, Mom throws the lighter at the Dad, blaming him for Brian’s indiscretion.  Mom repeatedly protects Brian against suggestions from the others that some punishment might be in order.  Quite reasonably in this crazy family, Dad breaks out the scotch at lunch.  Julia opines that “Dad is like an echo.  A tiny pathetic reflection of whatever mother says.”  He certainly echoes her attire — both sport an odd pairing of flannel shirts covering a turtleneck.[4]

According to Julia, her father said he bought this place to get away from things, but she thinks what he really wanted was to get away from his family.  Again, understandable, but why would buying a family vacation home accomplish that?  Claim you have to go out of town for work.  Or send the kids to camp — that Camp Crystal Lake has a nice brochure.

Julia sees the handyman still working in the yard.  She wants to take him a drink, but Mom tells her to knock it off, that he is here to work.  Julia later sees the handyman drilling holes in 2 x 4’s.  She unbuttons a couple of buttons on her blouse and approaches him.  He doesn’t acknowledge her.  In fact, he walks toward the house and passes right through her like a ghost.  The man, his wood, and the drill all disappear.

Julia tries to tell this to her family. Brian says Mom says there is no such thing as ghosts.  Dad says he has heard Mom say that.  Julia correctly points out that the hunky handyman always seems to be working here but, like Ralph and Alf [2], he never seems to get anything done.   She concludes that he must be a ghost.

Julia is pining away for the “10” woodsman in her bed that night, dreaming of being drilled. She hears a noise, and sees the man pounding nails into the wall, which is almost as good.  She tries to speak to him, asking how long ago he died.  It is only after hitting his thumb with the hammer that he can see Julia, so apparently profanity pierces the veil.  He flees the room.

The next day, Julia asks her mother why she never believes anything she says.  Julia’s case might have been stronger had she not lied about crying 3 seconds earlier.

The next day, she sees the handyman washing his ghostly SUV.  He gets in the vehicle and Julia jumps in the front seat, unseen by the man.  When she touches his face, he suddenly sees her and crashes his SUV.  He screams that he just wants to be alone, that he is not responsible for what happened to them, that they’re dead . . . dead!

nvmysocalled15Julia is suddenly transported back to the house.  Now she sees that it is a burned out shell.  Brian finally burned the house down.  She realizes the handyman was horrified seeing her dead body, scarred by the fire.  Mom is able to convince her to accept that they are dead.  Once Julia buys in, they all continue living in the sunny day on the lakefront vacation home for ever and ever.

The basic story has been done countless times — one notable example is The Others which opened just 2 weeks before this episode aired.  But originality is overrated, it is really more interesting to see how the story is presented.

The actor portraying Brian is just unbelievably awful.  For a 9-year old, though, this is really more about the casting and direction than his talents.  Plus he was playing a 7-year old, so at least he had range.  The father was written as a non-entity, but I’m not sure why. Maybe grief over what happened to his family, but he seems to be more a victim of depression and a nagging wife.

On the positive side, the Mom was very good even if I often found her nvmysocalled14motivation baffling.  Julia (Marla Sokoloff) really carried the episode, though.  She was in every scene, sometimes just providing narration.  She also played a few years younger than her age, in 20+ minutes convincingly portraying anger, teen angst, indifference, insecurity, crush-love and finally acceptance of her reality.  She has a great career in shows I never watch.[3]

Overall, a very enjoyable outing; and with Bitter Harvest, a very solid episode.

Post-Post:

  • [1] Julia attributes this line to “a girl in some TV show.”
  • [2] Shamefully, there are no decent clips available of Ralph and Alf from Green Acres.  Internet, pfff!  Here is Hank Kimball instead.
  • [3] Except when she was Joey’s sister in an episode of Friends.
  • [4] When grabbing pictures, I finally realized that Brian shares this sartorial quirk.  Mom, Dad and Brian do share a bond that Julia does not, but how this corresponds to flannel, I have no idea.  Sadly, unlike Mort’s in the Bazooka Joe comics, Brian’s turtleneck does not cover his mouth.
  • Title Analysis: Presumably a take-off on the TV show that had gone off 5 years earlier.  Maybe that was the show.[1]

Night Visions – Bitter Harvest (08/23/01)

For anyone who thought the Home episode of The X-Files was too much of a light-hearted romp, this is the episode for you.  It might have dipped too much into realism (like Megan is Missing) for my taste.  If this is what you’re looking for, though, bon appetite — this is great stuff.  Spoilers ahoy.

Young Shane Watkins and a couple of pals are checking out his horse Ginger who will be having babies in a couple of months.  They are wary of neighbor old man Jennings walking by.  They have reason to be concerned as he 1) is carrying an axe, and 2) is portrayed by Jack Palance.

The rumor is that old man Jennings shot an encyclopedia salesman and buried him behind his barn.  Also that his mother was a witch.  He lives on a farm bordering Shane’s in a house with several No Trespassing signs.

Occasionally, Shane has ignored the signs and snuck over to fish at a fishin’ hole on Jennings’ property.  And by “snuck”, I mean walked across a large open yard in broad daylight.

nvbitterharvest4One day, as he is sneaking to the fishin’ hole, he checks out behind the barn just to be sure.  There is indeed a mound of fresh dirt.  Well, looks like dirt on You Tube, but I’ll give Shane the benefit of the snout when he says it is just cow manure.

Jennings catches him.  As Shane runs away, he accidentally switches on a combine.  Or maybe it is some other piece of farm machinery, but I like the sound of the word combine so all farm equipment is combines to me.  Jennings, following closely behind, trips and his hands get caught in the gears. Shane’s mother then emasculates me by knowing that the machine was an auger rather than a combine.

One night, from his window, Shane sees Jennings standing at the barbed wire fence separating their properties.  Barbed wire fences make good neighbors if you live next to a pissed-off Jack Palance.  Tragically, he lost both arms in the auger.  Also tragically, the dolt from the county who is helping him has dressed him in a button-up coat.

nvbitterharvest5The next day as Shane is working on the horse, or whatever it is that you do in a barn, Jennings shows up. He tells Shane’s father that the boy has been naughty — Shane has been trespassing on his property to fish. The thing about causing him to have his arms chewed off does not come up.

In exchange for whatever fish he caught, Shane’s father offers his son’s services to help Jennings out until his prosthetics arrive.  The next day, Shane knocks but gets no response.  As in every show I have watched for this blog, Shane just walks right in.  He is startled when Jennings comes out wearing a short-sleeve shirt.  As am I.

Jennings puts Shane to work cleaning the gutters where he nearly falls, and does badly cut his hand.  Later in chopping wood, his hand starts to bother him, but he is not going to mention this to the guy whose arms he destroyed.

While Jennings is at the hospital for rehab, Shane sees a brown mound that really is dirt. Shane naturally digs it up. It contains a blanket belonging to his horse . . . Jennings severed arms are also wrapped up in it.  The episode is so good I won’t question how he buried this stuff with no arms.

nvbitterharvest8The next day, when Shane goes to Jennings’ house, the old man is bobbing for soup.  It is just very sad to see his face covered with food, and him have to ask Shane to feed him. On the plus side, Jennings does say it is time to do some auguring. When it jams, Jennings suggests that Shane stick his arm in there.

At the end of 2 weeks, Jennings actually pays Shane for his time.  As Shane goes to leave, he tells him to take Ginger’s blanket saying , “I won’t be needing it no more.”  As he arrives home, Ginger is giving birth — to a foal with no legs.

I was pretty satisfied at that ending.  The accident was squirm inducing, and seeing a beautiful horse suffer for the accident was tragic.  But then, holy shit . . .

Jennings is again staring at Shane from across the barbed wire.  His parents console him that there was nothing that he could have done, but that the horse will have to be destroyed.  On a happier note, his mother says she is going to have a baby.  Jennings continues smiling in the moonlight.

I give this one 5 out of 5 bushels.

Post-Post:

  • Jack Palance was in the classic Shane.
  • For anyone who didn’t get it, no-neck says in his epilogue that Shane will find out in nine-months how vindictive Jennings is.  So, apparently, his mother is zero-days pregnant.  That must have been some conception last night.
  • And Jennings could have been a little more focused with his vengeance.  Yeah, sucks to be Shane; but it sucks more to be his little brother.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Man with a Problem (11/16/58)

ahpmanproblem02A woman is hit in the hat by something too small to be a dead bird, and the doorman sees a pair of eyeglasses shatter on the sidewalk.  Clearly neither of them needs glasses as they are able to spot Carl Adams on the ledge 17 floors up.  I’ll say this for people who go out onto ledges — they always seem to pick the ledge that has the best exposure.  No one ever threatens to jump into the alley or down into an obliette-like courtyard.

The hotel manager and a bellhop break into room 1711.  The manager, apparently a graduate of the Dale Carnegie course on How to Win Friends and Influence People to Jump Off Buildings, shouts, “Whats the meaning of this? You come in here at once!”

The manager digs the hole — or potential sidewalk-crater — deeper by telling Adams to think of his wife.  The man says he doesn’t have a wife, at least not since last night.  He flashes back to Elizabeth Montgomery telling him their marriage is over.  As she is one of the most beautiful women ever to be on TV, his reaction is understandable.

ahpmanproblem04Police Sargent Barrett climbs out on the ledge to talk him out of jumping.

Vic Tayback [1] suggests to some fellow photographers that they work together.  One group will shoot the man as he jumps, another group will shoot him as he falls, and the third group will shoot him as he splatters on the sidewalk.  This is the same kind of inspiring teamwork that allowed the paparazzi to beat the tolls when killing Princess Diana.

The Sargent’s Lieutenant . . . or is it the Lieutenant’s Sargent?  No, it’s the Sargent’s Lieutenant shows up and is about as helpful as Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson. Apparently an old frat-brother of the hotel manager, he begins shouting at Adams.  I would jump just to get away from this prick.

Adams has another flashback.  This time he slaps Liz (Liz, I call her), so now I’m ready to push him off the ledge myself.  Can we get that nice Lieutenant back in here?  She walks out with a suitcase to go to “the other man.”

ahpmanproblem03In another flashback, the man finds Liz unconscious in their home with an empty prescription bottle in her hand.  He finds a suicide note.  “Other man” rejected Liz and she killed herself, unable to live with the pain that she had caused her husband.

After being on the ledge for four hours, the Lieutenant allows Officer Barrett to go back out on the ledge and try to reason with Adams.  They have the police dangle a rope from the floor above. Barrett tells him to grab it and slip into the lasso.

There is a most excellent, though not unexpected reveal.  Then it is revealed, even less unexpectedly, that Officer Barrett cannot fly.

Another very good episode although once you crack the code, it is pretty easy to figure the twists in this series.  Still, the performances and the concept carry it along.  The worst I can say is that there is not one second in the episode where Liz is smiling.[2]

I rate it 26 out of 32 feet per second per second.

ahpmanproblem10

Not cool.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  Office Barrett is still hanging in there.  Elizabeth Montgomery died at a relatively young 62.
  • [1] Vic Tayback was Jojo Krako in the Chicago mob episode of Star Trek.
  • [2] Three years later, Elizabeth Montgomery would have another non-smiling role — bonus points, she was filthy and also probably a commie — where she was the last woman on earth in a Twilight Zone episode.
  • On the other hand, later in Bewitched — holy crap!  And when she started dressing in 70s hippie-chic — yowza!
  • Hulu sucks.