Willy Gardener is the manager of the run-down Winchester Hotel. When he opens the front desk this morning, there is already a bum flopped on the lobby sofa. The seediness factor just increases when 1980’s gangsta Danny comes in with Candy, Rocco and Cap. Candy asks if he would like to take a walk with her. Yada yada, she humiliates him by screeching, “Sure if ya got $50!” and the gang howls with laughter. Wait, Candy hangs out with losers, reveals herself to be a whore, and Willy is supposed to be humiliated? I guess I just don’t get bullies.
Willy is hurt by this, but goes about his job which is more than those parasites ever do. He goes room-to-room announcing check-out time is 12 o’clock. Seems late, but check-in time might have been 11:00 at this joint. The door of one room swings open to reveal an unoccupied room with a large trunk in the middle of the floor. He opens it, but it is empty. He says, “I wish I had a nickel for every old piece of luggage left in this hotel.” When he tries to move it, it won’t budge. He opens the lid again and the huge chest is filled with nickels. Apparently, based on his wish, millions of pieces of luggage have been left in that hotel.
Like all fictional characters, he wastes his second wish. He wishes for an “ice cold root beer, just like when I was a kid.” He opens the lid and hoists out a mug of root beer. Oddly, the prop department not only screwed up by not giving him a frosty mug; but the root beer is completely flat. It looks like a mug of coffee. He looks at the nickels he had been diligently rolling and says, “What do I need you guys for?”
We cut to some time later when Willy is dressed like a 1970s dandy and his shabby room has been transformed into a swinging bachelor pad. Unfortunately, the only people he knows to invite over are the bums from the hotel and the idiots who bullied him earlier. It would just be churlish of me to ask how he got this fancy stuff. He said he didn’t need the money, but some of his new things would not have fit in the trunk.
At the party, a Winchester wino praises Willy’s free liquor and Candy the hooker still offers to be his girl if he buys her things. I’m not sure the trunk was necessary for those two things to happen.
One of the gang asks if he can borrow Willy’s new TV to watch the game. Willy tells him to just take it. Seeing that, another jerk asks for the stereo. Willy tells him to take it. He tells the rest of his guests to take whatever they want. So they loot every nice item from his apartment, down to the lamps and statues.
This isn’t enough for one of the gang; not sure which, let’s call him Rocco. He’s the one who lacks the ambition to even be a skinhead. He has short blonde hair and looks like a soccer hooligan. Plus no sleeves — a pretty good indicator of douchebaggery. He demands that Willy show him where all these swell new housewares came from. What kind of gang is this?
He chases Willy through the hotel. Willy ducks into the trunk room. Rocco follows. The trunk is the only place Willy could be hiding, so Rocco throws up the lid. It is empty, so he leaves. An interior shot in the closed trunk show Willy is in there, the trunk just hid him from Rocco. Cool.
Unfortunately, when Willy tries to get out, the lid won’t open.
We cut to the apartment of a nice young woman. She tells her mother that she just got dumped. All she wants is to meet a nice guy. The trunk is sitting in her living room. How it got there, we have no idea, but she doesn’t seem surprised to see it. She uses a butter knife to pry open the lock. So she bought it not knowing what was inside? Did it also hide his weight?
In response to her wish for a nice guy, Willy stands up in the trunk when she lifts the lid. He is looking dapper, in a nice suit. His hair is neatly groomed. In fact this is actually the best I’ve ever seen Bud Cort look. So I guess both their wishes came true.
Once again, a perfectly serviceable high concept is somewhat urinated away. I’m cool with not knowing who was staying in the room where it was found (although Willy could have at least checked the register). I assume the original owner found his own destiny the way Willy will. But what really is the story? Does Willy become greedy and conjure up big money? No, he just creates some furniture, gives it away, and that’s about it. Does Rocco lock Willy in the wish box to face some crazy shit? Does Willy somehow trick Rocco into the box, trapping Rocco in the titular twilight zone? No, Rocco just kind of gives up and walks away. What a waste.
Another freakin’ TZ happy ending. From the writers of Aqua Vita which I quite enjoyed.
Classic Bud Cort: