I don’t know whether to credit writer George R.R.R. Martin or director Jim McBride, but they pulled off a task I thought was impossible. They made a rock & roll segment which, not only did not make me cringe, but kept me entertained throughout. Of course, I have a few issues, but they mostly fall into the categories 1) I didn’t give it a chance, and 2) not enough of a good thing.
Elvis impersonator Gary Pitkin is doing a serviceable imitation of The King, singing Heartbreak Hotel in a venue that surprisingly does not have bowling balls and pins colliding in the background. At first I was little put off by his silver jacket, black shirt and white tie. It was too tacky for younger Heartbreak Hotel Elvis and not glitzy enough for older heart-attack Elvis. He doesn’t really look much like Elvis either. Little did I realize I fell right into their trap.
Back in his dressing room, he is complaining to his manager about the crummy gigs he is playing. Surprise! She has booked him in Viva Las Vegas! Pitkin is not thrilled, however. He feels that it was decadent Vegas that killed Elvis. Or maybe he’s just been there; I certainly feel no need to go back. He says he might look like Elvis, but he’s not going to make the same mistakes he did. His manager says old Vegas Elvis once gave her a scarf after rambling like a crazy man — a fact you might think she would have previously mentioned to her Elvis-impersonator client.
Driving home that night, Pitkin is run off the road. This is the one scene that still bugs me. After he sees an on-coming car swerving into his lane, the POV suddenly shifts to inside the drunk’s car, over his shoulder, and we hear his drunken singing. After Pitkin flips his car, we are literally seeing through the drunk’s eyes as we see the rear-view mirror and Pitkin’s upside-down car framed in it. He drives off and that, as they say, is that. I replayed it a few times trying to make the warbling sound like Elvis. That would have made no sense, but I was grasping for any kind of context.
Pitkin climbs out of the car. Keen observers (i.e. not me) will notice that it is day-time now. He puts his thumb out and an old pick-up stops. He takes a look at the driver and says, “You look just like Elvis Presley!” The driver — Elvis — says, “Do I know you, mister?”
Ahhhhh . . . I get it now; and by “now” I mean after I finished watching the entire segment the first time. Jeff Yagher is playing both Pitkin and Elvis. They couldn’t have Pitkin be a perfect doggelganger for Elvis. When he climbs in the truck, the driver with the lock of black hair hanging down his forehead, the rolled up shirt sleeve, the sideburns, the friendly sneer, the voice — we accept him as the real Elvis right away. Dang that’s good.
Pitkin notices the date on a newspaper. It is July 3, 1954. He recognizes this as two day before Elvis records his first record for Sam Phillips. They go back to Elvis’s job where his boss is not thrilled that he has 1) picked up a hitchhiker, and 2) the hitchhiker has a picture of a black man (Chuck Berry) on his t-shirt. Well, actually he refers to Berry as “a negro” with a pretty i-sounding “e” and pretty uh-sounding “o”. Elvis plays him the ballad he plans to record. Pitkin says that is all wrong and demonstrates the rock & roll performance Elvis should give. Elvis thinks it is trashy. They get into a fight and the real Elvis ends up dead, impaled on a broken guitar neck. Of course, given how Elvis really died, this is relatively classy.
Pitkin decides to bury Elvis and assume his identity. He will honor Elvis’s memory, he will protect his legacy, he will ensure that the world will still have his music, he will use this 2nd chance to avoid all the mistakes that Elvis-Prime made. But mostly he will keep his own ass out of the electric chair.
In two days, he grows his sideburns and hair out, dyes them and goes to Sun Records dressed as Elvis. And I mean literally dressed as Elvis — wearing the exact same pink shirt Elvis was killed in. OK, I guess he could have bought an identical shirt, but why bother? Was that the only shirt Elvis owned? And would Elvis still be wearing it? Wouldn’t people say, “Hey Smellvis, how many days ya gonna wear that shirt?” And yeah, I guess the hair and sideburns were make-up and a wig from his act, but he didn’t retrieve anything from the wreck except his guitar. In a good segment, none of that matters.
He dumps the ballad, and plays the rock-a-billy That’s All Right, Mama for his first recording, and the rest is history. We fade into an aerial shot of 1970s Las Vegas. Despite Pitkin’s disdain for Las Vegas, he has steered Elvis II right back there. Bloated helmet-haired, aviator-spectacled Elvis is telling a groupie his crazy tale. He says he doesn’t think Ma Presley truly believed he was her son. He ponders what would have happened if real Elvis had lived. Maybe that was the key to getting Elvis to a happy, healthy life. The groupie turns out to be Pitkin’s manager. Elvis gives her his scarf — after wiping his nasty sweat on it — and sends her away.
It’s not so much that this episode tricked me or had great twists, it just really made me think. First they got me with Pitkin’s less than perfect imitation. Seeing him grow into the part was awesome. He became Elvis as he became Elvis. By the last scene, Pitkin was The King.
I was thinking ahead that, in course-correcting, Pitkin should wait a few years later to call Priscilla Presley and should kick Col. Parker’s ass out a few years earlier. But I never jotted it down because that just wasn’t the point.
In no time we are with fat Elvis in Vegas. It was Pitkin who brought this fate on Elvis. He was trying to save Elvis, but as his groupie / manager reveals, he has always been Elvis. Somewhere a little boy named Gary Pitkin is listening to Elvis records and will eventually start the cycle again. Maybe old Pitkin should warn him. But would that deny Elvis to the world in the next go-round?
I was disappointed that it just sort of ends (i.e. not enough of a good thing). I guess you can take the groupie being his manager as the twist, but it is not necessary to enjoy the show. Just sit back and let the story roll over you. Pitkin knows how and when he will die. He knows that he killed Elvis, and by trying to perfect his life, kills him again.
The Once and Future King ranks with Profile in Silver as among the best of this series. Is it a coincidence that both are centered on an actual historical figure? While that is fun, the real common thread is the extraordinary performances by the leads.
Great stuff!
Other Stuff:
- Title Analysis: They even nailed that. Well done!
- Segment not Posted: A Saucer of Loneliness starring Shelly Duvall. She has enough problems without my shit.
Gary As Elvis Monologue :Yeah. I think Gladys knew,after maybe a day or two.I tried to be as loving towards her as possible and I did buy her a car and anytime she asked if anything was wrong I’d always say everything was great. I did everything to make her happy because I knew that’s what he’d want. I even broke up with Natalie Wood when I really wanted to marry her because Gladys didn’t like her. I did try to warn Natalie not to go on Robert Wagner’s boat,but I don’t think she ever took me seriously.If I’m still around in a few years I’ll try and stop that.
Young Sandra:Stop what?
Gary As Elvis: Never mind honey. You know it’s weird.I said I was never going to make the same mistakes he made but I did. I made all of them.I was never going to sign with the colonel,but things just weren’t moving fast enough. I was stuck doing Louisiana Hayride and donut commercials and I failed an audition for Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts and Bible thumping bastards like that damn pompous Hank Snow were threatening to have me arrested every time I so much as wiggled onstage.I knew his name wasn’t really Tom Parker and that he was a foreigner and he wasn’t a real colonel,and he had secrets nobody will probably ever know about,but I also knew he would make things happen and he did. I had to be the king you see.I had to get the music to the people.
I made things better for Gladys and Vernon,but she still knew something was wrong.That’s why she burst into tears at my first movie Love Me Tender when I died on screen. I remember reading that she ‘d done that,but I thought maybe she wouldn’t because she’d been so distant to me lately, but she got hysterical during my death scene and we had to take her outside and calm her down.I tried to hug her and kiss her and tell her I’m here and I’m okay but I could feel her pushing me away. I told the colonel I never wanted to die in a movie again. I even let myself get put in the army because I remember when I was talking to him (the real Elvis) he said if things didn’t work out in the music business he’d join the army,and I didn’t want Gladys to keep having to look at me,but it ended up not mattering anyway because she died while I was in the army. I was devastated and so was Vernon,even though I think he was cheating on her and he did remarry way too quick.They said Gladys was sick but I’m still worried it was a broken heart. After she died I would have been willing to die on screen but the colonel wouldn’t let me do West Side Story because he couldn’t get a piece of the profits and the soundtrack. I did try to get better movies but I didn’t have any luck,and the colonel didn’t want to change the format.Some of the movies,like Bye Bye Birdie,I turned down myself.No damn way Elvis Presley is going to get punched out by that grinning little pie-faced nerd Bobby Rydell! Some of the movies are pretty good. I tell you when I did that monologue by the cemetery in the movie Loving You where I talked about taking the identity of a man buried in a grave it felt like someone walked over mine…or his! Talk about art imitating life imitating art. The critics did admit I acted that scene well,but I don’t think I was really acting!
You know it’s pretty ironic some critics saying I couldn’t act when I’ve been acting for 23 years being him. Maybe if the colonel had let me get some more training I might have been better,or maybe it just took too much out of me having to pretend to be him for me to be able to pretend to be anyone else. Who knows?
I didn’t want to have Priscilla living with me because I knew the real Elvis wouldn’t approve,but the heart wants what It wants I guess. I wouldn’t let her sleep with me till we were married though because he told me he
wanted his bride to be a virgin,and that’s what Gladys wanted. I did have plenty of other women though. I almost married Ann-Margaret but our careers got in the way,and really it was also because I was so afraid somebody would find out the truth,find where I put him under that tree,and if the truth ever did come out I didn’t want Ann’s career going down with mine. I was getting more and more afraid that could happen because I think the colonel knew. I bought the land where I buried him (the real Elvis) under that tree to make sure no one would ever dig it up and I think the colonel might have known there was something there.He had his ways because he held it over my head after I stood up to him and did that 1968 comeback special the way I wanted to and played rock and roll in leather instead of wearing a suit and tie and singing Christmas carols with a Lawrence Welk band,and the producers wanted to take over my management.Yes he did threaten to sue me for billions of dollars if I fired him but he also acted like he knew something was in the ground back there! Oh I know he doesn’t suspect the whole truth. Nobody would ever believe that,but I got a sneaking suspicion he knows there’s a literal skeleton in my closet!
So I married Priscilla and we had Lisa Marie.I didn’t care that much anymore what happened to me,but now there was Lisa to think about if the truth ever came out.To history she’s Elvis Presley’s daughter but she’s really all there is of me, the real me. Some nights,after Priscilla had gone to bed, I’d sing to her softly in my real voice which I hadn’t really used in years,but she’s all there is left of the real me.
I started taking pills to help me sleep cause I kept having nightmares about..the real him, and then pills to wake up so I could keep on performing.I have other health problems too that I take pills and medication for but I still can’t make it without my sleeping and my wake up pills.
Priscilla finally divorced me but I really don’t blame her. I almost took down that karate instructor she was sleeping with,but the real him came to me in a nightmare and said I cheated on her first.Heck! I hadn’t been able to pleasure her in a while because of the pills and my health problems,but that wasn’t going to be for long. I guess I can’t blame her for getting tired of being isolated.It’s hard being a queen but when you’re married to a King you got to take some steps to protect yourself. That may be one reason why I wanted a drug badge from Nixon. I was angry at The Beatles and I said some things about them being commies and druggies because when they came to visit me years ago,John got snarky and asked me why I was doing corny ballads and not rock songs anymore,or something like that.That’s why I didn’t warn him.
Young Sandra:What did you say? Warn John about what? You’re cooler than the Beatles Elvis.
Gary As Elvis:Thank you honey. Don’t worry honey. I may have dreamed the whole thing, but if you ever get to New York you be sure and tell John Lennon they’re after him like they’re after me.
Young Sandra: I live in Ohio.
Gary As Elvis: Well never mind then. I’ll try and talk to John myself pretty soon. I didn’t hate The Beatles or any of them. I knew what was going to happen to them and Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison and the others,and I think I was trying to stop some of it by getting that drug badge from Nixon. I was very proud to meet the President,and I knew that the real him would have been proud too,but I think Nixon was just using me for public relations. I tried to warn Dr. King and the Kennedys too but King knew it was going to end that way for him and he didn’t care because he had to do what he had to do. The Kennedys didn’t believe me about Jack,so I got mad and never said anything about Bobby. I didn’t agree with him politically.That may have been another reason, but I’m sorry about it now. It’s weird they never even interrogated me after what happened to Jack Kennedy.
I called Sharon Tate and tried to warn her too but she got scared and I guess she thought I was out of my mind on pills and she didn’t believe me.
I never spoke out against Vietnam because the real him actually told me he wished he’d been able to go to Korea and fight the Communists. I didn’t trust John Lennon getting mixed up with those radical New York activists either.
Anyway, I had to stay with the colonel even though I knew he didn’t have a passport to take me overseas,so here I am where I never wanted to be..in Las Vegas,a living jukebox…a walking,swivelling monument,a windup performing doll.
I did try to get one more thing right. I wanted to be in A Star Is Born with Barbra Streisand.I was so impressed she and her boyfriend the producer went around the colonel to meet me,but,like everything else the colonel found a way to ruin it. He wanted a piece of the soundtrack and asked for more money and performance rights, and we couldn’t agree on all the terms and then he started telling me the whole thing was being produced by her boyfriend the hairstylist so she’d be the star and nobody wanted to see me play a loser. I got insecure and couldn’t make up my mind,and that ended up another one that just slipped through my fingers. Well,Las Vegas isn’t so bad I guess..good food..good gambling..the Colonel knows a lot about that. I got a feeling one reason I’m here in Vegas is to pay off his gambling debts,but I guess it doesn’t matter much now. Vegas has its perks.
Young Sandra: Thank you for the scarf. My friends will just die!
Gary As Elvis:You just keep on being you darling.Have a good evening.(Sandra exits.Gary/Elvis looks in the mirror.) I always wondered if you really did die in 1977 or if you disappeared and went somewhere else. I think I know the answer now.
On August 16,1977 Gary Pitkin died in his bathroom due to heart stoppage from a mixture of constipation,cardiac arrhythmia,an enlarged heart, possible diabetes and an overdose of pills, although officially Gary Pitkin was reported missing in 1986.
If caller ID had existed in 1977 there would have been a trivia fact for the ages because “Elvis'” last call was to John Lennon at the Dakota apartment in New York! John was busy toilet training Sean and getting overcooked food out of the oven and Yoko was at the office so by the time John got to the phone,it stopped ringing, and the answering machine was full,but he probably wouldn’t have believed “Elvis” anyway.He would probably have said “Poor fat Elvis has gotten barmy on those magic pills again.”