Tubi’s thumbnail synopsis which made me laugh

Enough of the funny stuff. On with the review . . .

Suspense continues its love of giant fonts, opening with a yuge newspaper headline: FOURTH MURDER VICTIM FOUND, ARSENIC POISONER STILL LOOSE.

We cut to George and Ethel eating breakfast.  There is not much to this scene other than to establish George is married to a much younger, pretty blonde.  She was an actress, but had a nervous breakdown when she saw the Dewey Defeats Truman headline 4 months ago.  Oh, and their housekeeper is Eleanor Roosevelt.  Well it is an easy mistake — she is very tall, er . . . stout, and not a looker. ^[1]

George takes the morning train work.  There are women talking on the train, but I can barely understand a word they’re saying. I expect that today, but this is 1949 and they are speaking English.  Actually the audio is rough in several sections.

One of them is reading the back of George’s newspaper.   I hear something about Brazilians.  George is irritated and refolds his paper.  The woman sees a picture of a woman named Anderson.  As best I can tell, she was a victim of the Arsenic Killer.

Eleanor is reading the paper when George comes home that night.  He has brought flowers for Ethel who is not feeling well.   Ethel says Eleanor is doing a great job.  George had been worried because she had no references.  Ethel says that is because she had been taking care of a widow’s mother “and couldn’t very well have references”. ^[4]  If the mother croaked, I don’t see how that prevents the widow from giving a reference.  Unless in 1949, you had to be a man.  Eleanor announces dinner is ready.

That night, Ethel calls 9-1-1, which got off to a slow start on rotary phones. ^[3]  Eleanor enters and Ethel tells her George is having a severe upset stomach.  A doctor comes, but is unable to find anything wrong with George that would cause the stomach pain or their separate twin beds.

The next morning he is well enough to do some gardening.  While looking for a trowel, he sees a can of Arsenic Weed Killer in the kitchen cabinet.  He has a full day, including going to a bachelor party that night.  He warns Eleanor he won’t be back until midnight. 

When he returns home, kinda tipsy, he finds a thermos of hot cocoa that Eleanor left for him.  He takes a sip, but it must not taste right because he spits it out.  He finds the arsenic can in the cabinet and sees the top has been removed after he replaced it that morning.  Thinking he has caught the Arsenic Killer, he pours a sample into a small jar.  

At breakfast the next morning, he makes excuses to Eleanor about why he is not eating.  He goes to a pharmacy to have the cocoa analyzed.  Busted!  That deranged monster Eleanor gave him instant ! Also, it is laced with arsenic.

He rushes home to make sure Ethel is OK.  Why didn’t he just call her cell?  Oh, yeah.    He is relieved to find her in good health.  Just as he is about to tell her that Eleanor is the killer, Eleanor enters and says the Arsenic Killer has been caught.  Maybe not the most reliable source for that bit of information. ^[5]

Oh God! I knew marrying an actress I was getting an out-of-touch, brain-dead, arrogant zombie diva who lectures me on things she knows nothing about, but murder?

George realizes it was Ethel who tried to kill him.  He asks why, and she says, “Can’t you eat one piece of toast, can’t you eat one meal without me having to hear you digest it?”  Seriously.  

Ethel seems to have another nervous breakdown ^[2] as she maniacally confesses to murdering her rival for an acting part.  We hear the police that George had called on Eleanor.  Ethel says, “George, how could you?”  Yeah, how could he?  He obviously had access to a phone to call the police.  Why didn’t he use the phone to warn Ethel?

The “early days of TV” excuse is wearing thin.  Citizen Kane was made 10 years earlier.  The suspense in this one was a little more formulaic than last week, but it did have a twist.  Not very good, but I grant the series another week to get on its feet.  

Other Stuff:

• [1]  Eleanor Roosevelt, Michell Obama, and Melania Trump are tied for tallest First Lady at 5’11”.  Eleanor just looked taller because she often stood next to a guy in a wheelchair.
• [2]  You never hear about nervous breakdowns anymore.  I think it was replaced by “exhaustion”.  Although just for actors, never for farmers, coal miners, or ditch-diggers.
• [3]  Even worse, England used 9-9-9.  
• [4]  That makes so little sense I admit I must have heard it wrong.  But dang if I can make it sound like anything else.
• [5]  Wait a minute.  Eleanor announces that the killer was caught, which proves to George that she isn’t the killer.  But wouldn’t that same logic also exonerate Ethel?  To be fair, Ethel then gives herself away when George says he had the cocoa analyzed, and she says, “How dare you!”
• Ernest Truex was in 2 memorable Twilight Zones: Kick the Can and What You Need.  Sylvia Field played Dennis the Menace’s mother.
• I say again, whoever invented the block system for WordPress should be in Hell