The XP205 is a new experimental aircraft which, based on the mock-up, has no wings.  It can go weeks without landing, challenging the current Delta on-time records.  Unfortunately, due to a minor design flaw, it exploded just east of Hawaii.  Within hours, navy planes were searching for wreckage.  After a week, the search was called off.

Pilot / Physicist Mark Kendler was lost in the crash, and the heartless bastards in the government notified his wife Peggy by telegram.  Six months later, after she had given up hope, she gets another telegram — from Mark!:

DEAR PEGGY  STOP  I AM NOT DEAD  STOP  HOPE YOU ARE THE SAME  STOP  THINKING OF SELLING MY GOLF CLUBS?  STOP  SPENDING MY INSURANCE MONEY? STOP  ^[1]

She calls her mother to give her the good news.  OK, everyone was too afraid to face the poor widow when Mark was killed, so they sent a wire.  But now that he is alive, even HE sent a wire.  He couldn’t give her a call?  We know she has a phone, she just used it!

Mark Kendler is introduced to Al Mitchell, Director of the Bureau of Scientific Security.  Mitchell asks if he remembers anything.  He says, “I wish I could help you gentlemen, but I passed out when that ship picked me up, and I can’t remember another thing until I woke up in the hospital in Singapore.”  So is the missing six months between the explosion and being picked up by that ship, or between being picked up and waking up in Singapore?  I think it is the latter because they describe some sort of surgery that was performed on him.  But the former would have been a better story.

His colleagues welcome him back to the office.  They have begun work on the XP206.  Unfortunately, another group overseas, probably foreigners, have begun a competing project.  There is paranoia over how the plans could have leaked to them.  Hmmm, could it have something to do with the top physicist who was abducted and missing for 6 months?  Actually no, this is apparently the new, less-explodey XP206 project that is being duplicated.

As they are investigating the leaks, a spy is picked up on the border.  He has with him tapes of the project’s top scientists, including Kendler, recorded discussing the XP206’s heat shield, aerodynamics, but mostly Marilyn Monroe’s rack.  The offices are searched but no listening devices are found.  As they continue playing the tapes, it is clear the the bug is on Kendler.  They X-Ray his head and find that during his disappearance a chip was planted in his noggin.

Kind of a snooze.  Even Variety did not bother to review it that week.  Arthur Franz (Mark Kendler) got the big paycheck this week ($750).  The other scientists picked up a cool $80 each.

Other Stuff:

• [1] My favorite joke ever from MASH.
• The title keeps reminding me of this commercial.  Imagine that ad pitch now:  We have a great idea to sell your gum!  It mashes up 2 great American institutions, high school and guns!