Fall (2022) — Two D-cup mountain-climbers stuck on the top of a 2,000 foot radio tower. Maybe the most squirm-inducing movie I’ve ever seen, and not just because of the cleavage.
Thirteen Lives (2022) — The anti-Fall: Thai boys trapped in a flooded cave. New drinking game: Take a shot every time you read a review that contains the phrase “white savior”
Beast (2022) — Booming sound design and long unbroken shots makes this a thrillingly immersive lion-attacks-family joint. OK, Wire fanboys, after 20 years of humping Idris Elba for every movie franchise, he finally came through with a great starring role — action, emotion, strength, and a believable dad. Good stuff.
Stalked (2019) — Abducted special forces lady battles invisible dude in warehouse while her baby is left alone at her house. Nothing exceptional I can point to, but everything just seems to work. Bravo!
The Innocents aka De Uskyldige (2021) — About kids with special powers. From Norway, it appropriately zips along at the pace of Hardangerjøkulen. Despite being slow and 2 hours, it is consistently compelling.
The Double (2013) — Office drone meets his more confident, more successful doppelganger. How come a successful guy never meets his loser doppelganger? I really hate Jesse Eisenberg, but if he keeps cranking out crazy stuff like this and Vivarium, I might have to upgrade him to intense dislike.
Lost Horizon (1934) — Note to millennials: Based on a 1933 classic novel by James Hilton, and the source of the word Shangri-La. Also, stop whining about everything.
Gripped: Climbing the Killer Pillar (2020) — Dude is injured climbing a rock face and his less-experienced hook-up has to drag his ass up to safety. Pro: Mountain climbing and a strong female lead. Con: Strange inconsistencies. Camerawork is great but with missed opportunities, characters’ personalities seem to change randomly, the final scene diminishes what came before it. So, fine . . . . certainly better than the porno by the same name.
A Perfect Vacation aka Awaken (2015) — In a catastrophic departure from the template, a woman 1) has help, and 2) does not kill all the men. Major demerits.
Better Call Saul Final Season (2022) — Like Ozark and Walking Dead, the cheap ploy of splitting the final season drags things out so long that it is hard to give a shit.
Shark Side of the Moon (2022) — Yeah, well, what do you expect? Was I not entertained? Yes. I mean no. No, wait, yes. Who talks like that? It was a hoot.
Lady Bloodfight (2016) — Stunningly beautiful blonde American babe whoops all challengers to become the greatest fighter in Hong Kong. Oscars, if you want to regain a shred of credibility, gems like this better start showing up in the nominations.
Touch of Evil (1958) — Director Orson Welles, perpetrator of the 1938 Martian Invasion hoax, strains credibility even more here by casting Charlton Heston as a Mexican.
Prey (2022) — Awesome. Comanche girl kills alllll the men. OK, kills one Predator, but that’s still pretty good.
At Your Own Risk (2018) — Two gals walk through the desert for a reality show. Seriously, that’s about it.
Killing Ground (2016) — Hillbillies, non-linear timeline, mistaken identities. Great, brutal stuff.
Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941) and Heaven Can Wait (1978) — Great original and great remake 37 years later of an athlete mistakenly dispatched to heaven before his time. As Joe Pendleton, Warren Beatty is superior to Robert Montgomery. Both were nominated for Best Actor. However, as the father of Elizabeth Montgomery, Robert Montgomery should have won for Best Producer.
Rust Creek (2018) — Woman in jeopardy and high body count, but not the usual massacre. A meth lab, a corrupt sheriff, a surprising shift of loyalties, and a relatable heroine give this one a boost.
Arctic Void (2022) — All but 3 people in the Arctic vanish. There were more? Slow but compelling.
The Thin Man (1934), After the Thin Man (1936), My Man Godfrey (1936), and Love Crazy (1941) — Pretty funny William Powell joints. Criterion is becoming my favorite streamer.