Looking through his surveying scope, sinewy Bush Wyman spots a girl on a horse riding bareback — she is bareback, not the horse.

Something warm shoots past his ear.  This is not a Something About Mary moment; a flaming arrow has just missed his head, killed a nearby burro, and the streets ran red with salsa.^[1] There is a message attached warning him to come neither further nor farther.  Strangely enough, the message is actually typewritten; apparently on asbestos.

Bush suspects a rival oil company is using this strategery to scare them off.  He grabs a machete and goes past the point where the new road has been cleared.  The machete has cut through the brush and also through the skull of a man who attacks him.  Bush identifies the man as one of them white Venezuelan Indians you always hear about.  Or am I supposed to call them Native South Americans?

Bush draws his revolver as the rest of his tribe appears.  He gets off a couple of shots but is captured.  He is taken to the largest bamboo shack in the village.  As he stands outside, a girl comes out onto the veranda “nude except for a girdle of dried twisted flowers and a necklace of fresher blossoms that sheltered her breasts.”  It is the same girl he saw on the horse.  “Her whole body was a symphony of breath-taking loveliness.”

She invites Bush up and says, “So Mr. Wyman, you didn’t heed my message.”  This Indian with the blonde hair and blue eyes says her name is Marjorie Packard.  She was educated in America but came to live here because she was sick of the greed in civilization.  Now the oil companies are trying to destroy her new home here too.  When Bush lays a kiss on her, she has him locked up.^[2]

Bush escapes, but turns back when he hears a scream. The tribal chief is telling Marjorie that Bush will be killed unless she becomes his wife.  Bush hears this and busts down the door.  The Chief mis-underestimates Bush and gets his behind handed to him.

As Bush prepares to inflict some shock and awe on the Chief, Marjorie implores him to let the Chief live and rule her people even though he didn’t win the popular vote — she wants to go back to the USA.  “Her breasts throbbed provocatively” as she asks Bush to take her back home.

Bush clasped her quivering body, pressed her tightly, felt her warm against him.  Her firm breasts mashed on his chest . . . She turned up her moist lips.  Bush Wyman’s mouth closed over hers.

Mission Accomplished, baby!

Post-Post:

• ^[1] I could have sworn I’ve heard burro as a synonym for burrito.  Seems to be rare to non-existent, though.
• ^[2] Yep, she went to an American university alright.
• First published in September 1936.
• Also that month:  Buddy Holly born.