Trigger Warning:  There be Asian stereotypes here. ^[1]

Minna Boswell, described as attractive and a bit earthbound, calls out to her Chinese servant Song to see if he remembered the milk.  From off-screen, he replies, “Yes, Miss.  Plenty milk for young person in refligerator.”  I’ll be the first to agree that English uses entirely too many prepositions, but he really punches that middle L while being cool with the other three Rs.

Song is set up as a Magical Asian, and described as not so earthbound because he was born in Peking “where people have been around long enough not to disbelieve merely because they don’t understand.”  However, this story takes place in America just outside stodgy old 1959 San Francisco which, in the next 10 years, will surely never fall for far-out concepts like spirits, karma, auras, and free speech.

Minna has purchased the house for her brother Paul and his daughter Ann to live in after the death of his wife.  Alfred Hitchcock Presents has more brothers and sisters shacking up than Pornhub.  Paul and Ann arrive by cab.  Minna introduces Song by saying he was with the previous owners.  So he came with the house?

While Paul and Minna discuss the size of the house and what a good deal she got on it, Ann is distracted.  She slowly walks to the stairs accompanied by some genuinely creepy music.  Song sees her on the stairs, and she asks him who is up there.  He says, “No one.  Empty looms.”  She says they are not empty.  Minna calls Ann back into the living room and we learn what a hot-head jerk Paul is when she is too slow answering.

Minna presents Ann with three dolls.  Then she and Paul hit the scotch.  Ann pours herself some lemonade but accidentally knocks over a picture of her dead mother.  Paul goes nutz and accuses her of doing it on purpose.  What?  There has been zero indication that Ann didn’t love her mother. He shakes Ann very roughly and says, “She hates her!  She hates her!”  Minna pulls Ann away.  Paul says to his dead wife’s picture, “Why did it have to be you?”  Considering the asshole she was stuck with, she could say, “Just lucky, I guess.”

Later, Minna tells Ann she needs to be patient with her father who, after all, just lost his wife.  Of course she is an 11 year old who lost her mother and a delicious glass of lemonade, so she is the rock in that family.  Ann says she knows her father wishes she had died in the accident instead of her mother.

Ann asks for a tour of the upstairs which is not being used.  Song is giving her and Minna a tour when she hears her name called from one of the bedrooms.  Song says it was a nursery.  Ann insists that it be her bedroom.

A few oddball things happen, which Ann attributes to Jennifer, Rose and Mary.  The episode makes a huge blunder by having Ann point to the dolls as being Jennifer, Rose and Mary.  It would have been much more effective, just having the audience assume that, because the force behind the weird events is actually three ghosts living in the room. They are nice ghosts, though, encouraging Ann to be nice to her father so he will stop being such a dick.

Ann actually is very lucky because the ghosts in the house next door are Lewis, Jeffrey, and Ghislaine.  Although Ghislaine’s ghost won’t show up until her suicide next week. ^[2]

Of course, the magical Song cracks the case.  He tells Paul that Ann just pretended Jennifer, Rose and Mary were the dolls to wrap her head around the fact she was living with dead people.  “Nursery occupied by something other than dolls,” he explains.  In the 1920’s, three girls died from a gas leak in that room.  They too had a nasty father, so they are guiding Ann to soften Paul up.

Well, it’s a happy ending as Paul, Ann and Minna move back to Denver.  I guess they will just foist the house on some sucker who doesn’t realize it comes with three mystical entities, not understood by Americans, and bound to the house forever.  Four if you count Song.

Sure, the episode could be nitpicked to death, but who has the energy?  OK, Paul’s anger at his daughter was inexplicable and pre-dated his wife’s death.  Is he really capable of redemption?  What was the point of Minna being divorced?  Couldn’t she have just been single?  Which was the bigger shame for a 31 year old woman in 1959?

On the other hand, the series continues to surprise with its direction.  There are a couple of truly chilling scenes here.  The score is appropriately eerie.  And, thank God, John Newland is finally learning to direct children.  Unlike the screeching kids in Premonition and Epilogue, Ann’s performance is entirely tolerable.  Quite good, actually.  The one time she does threaten to become obnoxious, he has her run out of the room.  Well-played!

A good week for One Step Beyond.

Misc:

• [1] Well, actually only one — this ain’t no Charlie Chan movie.  Although a Charlie Chan movie might actually have none.
• [2] I guess it is a good sign that I had to reach back almost 200 years for the 3rd name.
• Song also displays his otherness by claiming to listen to plants.
• Maybe his accent was entirely appropriate.  I must admit I don’t talk to many 1959 Chinese people.  Just seemed a little exaggerated.