Leave it to the consistently great AHP to provide a better TZ episode than Twilight Zone served up this week.  Yes, it is another AHP period piece, but has two huge mitigating factors:  1) it is set in America, and 2) it stars Norman Lloyd.

Two guys back in an old west saloon circa 1899 are arguing about who will pay for this round of drinks.  The twist is, these guys are like the Goofy Gophers,^[1] arguing over who will get the privilege of paying.

The two town strong-men break up the argument just as it was about to come to blows — and this town is so friendly I don’t even want to think about what that might have entailed.  The strong-men even settle the argument by paying for their drinks.  This is the nicest bar in history.  Anthony Fremont’s family wasn’t this agreeable.

Somehow, this positive attitude and generosity even extends to the slot machine.  Strongman Jamie optimistically gives it spin, and the wheels come back with a royal straight flush.  This is the happiest, smiliest, good-natured, backslapping bunch of guys . . . wait a minute, where are the women?

Into this saloon walks a slim, elegant drink-of-water with evening wear, white gloves, a stylish hat and a mellifluous voice.  Oh wait, that’s Norman Lloyd.  He orders a rum, and the bartender blows dust off the bottle.  I’m not sure what the gag is there, except maybe all these giggling he-men are whiskey drinkers; at least until Zima is invented.

Their next diversion is the always-fun anvil-lift.  Several of the locals try, but the thing is like Thor’s Hammer.  Strongman Ben is able to lift it.  For a strongman, he should know better than to lift with his back, though.

The bartender tells Norman, “This place is like a church social compared to what it was 2 months ago.”  It was at that time that Jamie and Ben McMahon came to town.  The local copper miners were a tough crew with the fighting, gambling, drinking, shooting each other, and reusing postage stamps.  He says, “They brought the magic of brotherly love.”  They got every professional gambler thrown out of town.  They explained there was more to life than those shenanigans.  They were such happy, peace-loving, God-fearing leaders that the town wanted to be like them.

Norman has heard enough.  With a flash and a plume of smoke, he gets their attention.  Jamie says Norman should just apologize for smoking indoors and be on his way.  Norman says he must be “one of the righteous ones, an ecclesiastical bore, a pompous ass.” ^[2]  Jamie is steamed, but turns the other cheek.  Norman does everything he can to provoke Jamie, but Jamie stays calm.  Then Norman throws a drink in his face.  That’s it!  Jamie throws several punches, but there seems to be a protective field around Norman.

With a flick of his gloved hand, Norman knocks Jamie to the floor.  Ben, clearly not the smarter brother, takes a swing.  He goes down also.  Now that all the rubes think he is a demon, he instructs them to hand over their cash.  He takes the brothers’ wallets, then hits the register, then a statue with a hidden stash.  No mention of that slot machine loot, though.  Norman goes to the door and tells them not to follow him or “there will be the devil to pay.

Of course there is a twist that you will probably see coming, but that doesn’t matter.  There is the what-does-God-need-with-a-starship issue with the devil stealing cash, but that doesn’t matter either.  It is just a pleasure to watch Norman Lloyd chew up the scenery in every frame. ^[3]  But the episode does not fully rest on his great performance.  After 4 years, I should no longer be surprised, but the sheer consistency and professionalism of this series is astounding.

PS:  For the commentor who chastised me for mixing actors’ names with character’s names . . . dedicated to you, buddy.

Other Stuff:

• ^[1] Wow, for my entire life, I had thought they were Chip and Dale.
• ^[2] This has to be one of the first uses of ass on American TV; at least that does not involve a jawbone.
• AHP Deathwatch: Read Morgan — whose name is an imperative sentence — is also still with us.  Among the deceased, an imperative sentence from yoga class:  Arch, Johnson!  Roscoe Ates came sooo close to being a declarative sentence.
• Norman Lloyd is still with us at 103.  He is such a classy, amazing talent, I hate to lump him in the Deathwatch category.  When his day comes, I suspect we will not read obituaries about him saying “F*** NIXON” at the Oscars or suggesting Nixon’s daughters should be molested.  Adios, Hollywood!
• AHP Proximity Alert:  Mike Ragan (Pete) was the enigmatic Alfredo on last week’s episode.  Give someone else a chance!
• Title Analysis: It is from the poem Antigonish, but I don’t understand the relevance to this episode.  With AHP, I happily concede that is probably my ignorance.